pishposhspice:

my roommate is 2 days younger than me so i’ve gotten into the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 2 days ago

mcdolands:

Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you

rnushroom:

waiting for someone to text back like

image

mykingdomforapen:

everyone’s always going on about pureblood and muggleborn culture in hogwarts but what about the halfbloods

they’re the ones who know all the lyrics to the weird sisters songs and bastille songs they crush on the chosen one and tom hiddleston they go to both walt disney world and the quidditch world cup final for summer holiday and use magic to fix their laptops they’ve got the best of both worlds

naomicampbelle:

when your parents try to give you fashion adviceimage

ATTENTION SARCASM USERS

buttlass:

tweeckos:

we’re being faced with a serious issue.

there is only 1 sarcasm left

now we’ve got to use it wisely. please, for the love of god, think before you speak. it’s gotta be good.

yeah okay, i’ll be sure to do that

antiteen:

friend: *turns on country music*
me: can you chill

botherandbefuddle:

zourrifying:

reason to not become an adult

  • you can’t use the ‘my mum said i can’t go’ excuse to blow someone off

my mom has invited me over for dinner

my mom needs help with furniture

my mom just got a new phone and needs my help

my mom spoke to me from the grave and told me u need to stop inviting me out

officialburger:

im not like other teenagers, im 51

© T H E M E